Thursday, April 11, 2013

LAST CHEMO and stent removal

Tomorrow Phil goes in for an endoscopy where the Drs will remove his stent for good. I have a feeling IT is what has been causing Phil the pain in his chest, so we are so glad to get it out. We will know for sure if it is the culprit once it is removed and the inflammation from the procedure has gone down. It starts at 8:30 tomorrow morning, then he will stay overnight and start chemo the next day. I wish they would wait a few days, and let the stent area heal up a bit. His chest hurts alot after they've messed with the stent. I'm going to suggest it, if they don't think its necessary then I trust them.

Mom and Dad are driving up on Saturday and it will be such a huge help for me and emotional pickup for both of us. Dad will stay for the weekend, mom will stay longer. SO HAPPY.

I have contacted Phil's psychiatrist with a list of questions and am waiting for his call. He specializes in drug dependency and depression. Phil really liked him the one time he met, and I'm happy it was a good fit from the get-go. Phil hasn't been back to see him because he's been incapacitated with fatigue, but it will be the next step after chemo is finished. I will push for at least 2 wks of a break from any treatment, not weaning off of anything yet- then when Phil has had a breather we can face detox together with renewed energy. I'm not sure if our Dr will approve of letting Phil continue to take his high doses of dilaudid and opana for a while after chemo, but I think with all that he's been through- let him dull the pain a little longer till he can actually function enough to face the next wave of hell.

Have any of your families dealt with prescription drug dependency and detox? I have been looking into inpatient clinics, and also outpatient. When opiates are involved it is very serious and needs supervision and guidance, also a watchful eye on heart rates, etc because the body reacts quite drastically and for a long time when you take it away. I am praying that we will find just the right fitting procedure for Phil. He needs extra loving care physically and mentally through this. Many times Phil has told me that I'm his reason for fighting- and although thinking about dealing with detox now really instills panic in me -I've committed in my mind to being there by his side everyday, no matter how long it takes to get back on his feet. I never want him to feel he's alone, and he needs my affection and encouragement- even if it is just holding his hand. I can't imagine what it is like to go through detox. I've only seen it in movies, and we did taste a bit of it when Phil tried going cold turkey off of opana alone a few months back. It's traumatizing to say the least.

I did say I wasn't going to talk about it...
Anyways, right now I would love any advice or experiences in this field that you have. 
I don't know anyone who has done detox of any sort. I'm feeling quite lost.

I will be in and out of the hospital for the next week, and I'm not sure how Phil will feel as far as visits in the hospital but I will keep you in the loop. Either way, he likes visits later in the day, dinnertime or after. He doesn't sleep at night, so he sleeps all morning and afternoon. I sleep in with him, as I am running downstairs and getting him snacks throughout the night and helping him while he vomits or even just sit beside him while he watches TV. If you'd like to contact me, text is the best bet. Sometimes however, I like to have breakfast and coffee with you guys, I find it a nice treat to have McDonalds breakfast, or Sam's Donuts ;) - I am pretty sick of the hospital food at this point. So is Phil. If you feel like eating with us we will pay you back - we're always down for Chilis, Chipotle and Phil usually wants a burger from In and Out, or pizza later at night. 

We love you all and I want to thank you dear ones who have sent us gifts in the past few days! They have really been a magical treat!! Check out a few pics of things we have gotten from friends. Note I haven't taken pictures everytime we get a gift, so some of you might feel left out - but please know we love them all the same!!!!

From Julie Dunne!

Not gonna lie I had 3 today!

From Dan, Sue, Kepryn and Chloe!

So much love to you all
I'll keep in touch.


tim and robin said...

Thank you for keeping us up to date...give our love to Phil...this past weeks Watchtower was so encouraging and a good reminder on how we need to take time out to listen and hold the hand of someone who is suffering, no matter what the circumstances...wish we could be there to hold your hand and help you through this...much love always Tim and Robin

Brigitte Workman said...

We HAVE to meet! I've been desperate to find someone on this journey. We're a witness couple with a small son and my husband is on the fourth round of Epoch and CT's don't look great like they'd said they would. Please can we talk? Only Jehovah could have helped us find you.

Constance said...

Hello Brigitte, I am Hollie's mom. While Hollie is unable to be of assistance at this time, my husband Dave and I would be happy to help in whichever way we can. Feel free to email us at or

Hollie May said...

Hello brigitte, how can i contact you?? amazing you found us!